Sometimes I Forget About Marcella's Sensitivity!

Suddenly, when Marcella entered First Grade at a new big school teachers began noticing behavioral problems with Marcella. Usually I was told: "She is so quiet and shy", "She isolates herself", "She speaks so soft", "the entire class was punished today, and she began to cry".

I bought a book on highly sensitive children, and I am almost sure Marcella is one of them. The book says higly sensitive individuals are those born with the tendency to notice more on their environment, and deeply reflect on everything before acting, as compared to those who notice less and act quickly and impulsively. As a result, sensitive people, both children an adults, tend to be empathetic, smart, intuitive, creative, careful, and conscientious. They are also more easily overwhelmed by "high volume"or large quantities of input arriving at once. They try to avoid this, and thus seemed to be shy or timid.

HSCs are easily hurt by her peers, often don't like sports because they often have coordinating problems.

Highly sensitive children, as they reflect on what's coming in, tend to ask for more time to decide something. Highly sensitive childrent (HSC) feel stronger emotions. Sometimes it's intense love, awe, or joy, but they will also have to feel fear, anger, and sadness, and feel those more intensly than other children.

Because of these strong feeling and thoughts, most HSCs are unusually empathetic. They suffer more when others suffer and become interested early in social justice. They are also brilliant interpreters of what is happening in anything or anyone that cannot speak such as babies.

I recall one morning when Roger and I were still sleeping, we heard a noise coming from baby Roger's room, and then Roger recalls hearing steps as if the baby was crawling. He stepped out of bed quickly and went to check on the baby. Marcella had taken him out of the crib. When she was asked why she had taken him out, she responded that she felt sad because he was on the crib and couldn't get out. Marcella knew he wanted to get out.

The book continues and says that unfortunately, most people tend to notice mostly the downside of sensitivity. This is again because HSCs are easily bothered by things other children do not notice, and can become totally overwhelmed by a noisy, complex, constantly changing situation, classrooms or parties. But given that HSCs are in the minority, their reaction and solutions often seemed odd to others. Therefore there are hints from others (other parents, teachers, or school's staff) that they are somewhat abnormal.

For example yesterday, Marcella went to a classmate's birthday party where there was a brinca brinca were all kids were jumping and sliding down. As we entered the party all the kids in the party said: "ahi viene la Marcellita, Hola Marcellita", "There comes Marcellita, Hi Marcellita". She then responded in a very quiet voice: "hi". And then I asked her if she wanted to go into the brinca brinca, she said yes, and I felt so relieved and happy. I then went to sit down with Antonella's mom. Every once in a while I saw Marcella out of the brinca brinca just wondering around by herself. And then I can't help and think that she is a little odd for doing this. I then go up to her and almost force to go back into the brinca brinca by asking: "why are you here? Why don't you go back and play with your friends"?

And there also has been times at school were the teacher has told me how she spends time on her own, isolated from the rest of classmates. And then I get worried and have thoughts running up my mind that there is something wrong with my precious little girl.

Sometimes I wonder why does she seem so independent and sure of herlself by being able to go to birthday parties on her own, but at the same time seems so quiet and shy? So that's the reason for the title of this post: Sometimes I Forget About Marcella's Sensitivity.

And now, what? Just becasuse she is highly sensitive I should let her be herself and not worry about her social Skills? NO! like the book motto says: "In order to have an exceptional child, I most be willing to have an exceptional child". I have learned I should respect her way of being sometimes, but at the same time, I need to promote her social skills. The book provides tips on how to raise a, bold, socially accepted HSC.

Some tips the book gives:

• Expose your child to all kinds of experiences.
• Avoid the label "shy"and discourage it in your child.
• Use role-playing.
• Realize that entrances into groups are delicate to HSCs.
• Help your child develop athletic skills.
• Expose your child to more adults.
• Have your child ask for directions or information when you need it while out together.
• Encourage your child to look at people in the eye.
• Point out progress.

And last but not least I want to post picture of Marce that showed how she had a great time yesterday at the birthday party: