Melissimplistic

It's been a long time since I've written on my blog.  Events in my life have pushed me into a turmoil of continual change since my sudden, unexpected separation in 2009.  I visualize my life as the before and the after.  Picturing life in this way is a symptom that I have gone through a traumatic event and that I have or I am suffering from post-traumatic stress disorder. In fact, my separation was a traumatic event.  At the beginning, I used to write a lot, but suddenly I fell into a surviving state.  Unexpectedly, I came to realize that this was real.  There was no turning back .  It was like so much pain could not be sealed in the profound expression of my hurt feelings into this blog. Yet, so much has gone by.  New jobs, new goals, new friends, new dreams, new challenges, new ways of doing things, new ways of managing things, new car, new house, new hobbies, new schools, new surgeries, new trips, new business trips, new ways of perceiving th...

Hoy fue un día super pesado. Roger acaba de salir recientemente del hospital y sigue con tratamiento en casa de nebulizaciones cada 3 horas las 24 horas al día. Hoy lo llevé al hospital para que lo inyectaran y vieran a la Mari que tambien esta enferma y resulta que ella tambien tiene neumonía, según la doctora. Me fui al hospital a las 12:30 y cuando regresé casi me desmallo del hambre. No había comido nada desde las 6:30 am. Roger que no para de llorar y llorar. No se ni que quiere, solo quiere estar chineado. La Mari acostada y los 2 con el mismo tratamiento las 24 horas del día. This is when I can feel and say: "I miss having a family". 

Hoy me siento un poco triste. Ya pronto me pasaré a la casa de mis padres. Eso me emociona. Ya quiero salir de este lugar donde recuerdo mi vida, casi intacta. Es tan dificil pensar que un día todo marchaba de lo mas normal, la vida marchando siempre hacia lo predecible: las rutinas de la casa, los niños, la llegada de un esposo a la casa...y de repente sin previo aviso esa vida se cayó, se derrumbó en un instante. Esta casa me trae recuerdos de lo que una vez fue mi vida y de lo que una vez se volvió mi vida. Me quiero marchar de aqui. Lo que contruimos como esposos, como una familia, para mi ya no tiene ningún valor. Los regalos del casamiento, lo que compramos juntos, las fotos, ya nada tiene valor para mi. Todo eso se puede ir de mi vida sin ningún pesar. Deshacerme de todo eso significa un nuevo comienzo en mi vida. Y no esta largo de ser verdad, porque pronto comenzaré una nueva vida en una nueva casa y en un nuevo trabajo. Aunque no puedo omitir decir que extrañaré ...

I've updates the "About Me"section

Que lindas mis amiguitasque compartieron conmigo!

I am starting School on Monday! I am excited, but a little worried...classes seem a little hard this semester. And I'm having lots of Pre-Assignment homework to do this time, which I've already started to work on, but still need to do more! This time I'm going to take two classes starting on Monday June 15th and ending on the 26th. They are Curriculum and Theory Design and Evaluation and Research. The first one seem very interesting, the second one doesn't seem too interesting to me.

I am going to the doctor today...I had 39 C fever today and it did not go down until right now at three o'clock.  Maria Isabella went to the doctor yesterday, and my mom took her again today because I was not feeling well.  Thanks mami! 

I can't believe Roger José has been able to stay healthy. Marcella still got a fever today, I am a little worried. This was supposed to be her last week of school. It is final exam week. Today I went to pick up her books, and told the teacher she might be able to go to class tomorrow, but apparently, she won't. Maria Isabella is better. She still got a fever this morning, but was low.

Is not as I had expected it, but at least it's well adjusted and well painted now!

Yesterday and today are one of the saddest days of my life. I am experiencing as much pain as the day I was told Isabella had spina bifida.

I have a new person that helps me take care of the three kids. So that means I have to train this person on how to take care and handle Isabella. This is very stressful for me. I am so stressed out! Plus Roger just started studying Monday nights and I don't know what other day of the week also. So that means I have to bath the kids on my own and put them to sleep. Isabella is getting heavier and heavier each day. And I have a lower back pain that goes down through my hip and leg sometimes and I think it's because I am lifting too much weight with Isabella. I am feeling very tired lately. I think I really need some days off...I am running out of patience. Sometimes the girls talk to me and I can't help feeling bothered by them. Today Marcella was making this noise with this toy, and I couldn't help it and told her to please stop. I felt bad because really she wasn't doing anything bad.

I'm so glad yesterday rained.

I hardly ever go out because I never feel like going out.  But recently I've been in the mood to go out with my husband Roger and  friends.  This weekend we went to Ana's baby shower.  Ana is 37 weeks pregnant and is going to have a baby girl.  They are going to name her Elena.  And then yesterday we went to La Pared Concert at La Casa de los Mejías Godoy.  It was my first time listening to them, they were awesome.  It was nice listening to songs from the 90's and remembering good old times! We had fun this weekend!  I think I'm going to do this more often now.

I'm Scanning Old Pictures, I want to get rid of clutter at home.

In this photo, I'm trying to get the selective focus effect, where the subject is on focus and the backgroun blurry. To obatain this effect I used a shallow depth of field, and used the macro option on my camera.

A couple of months ago I read a book called: Empowering Your Child Who Has Special Needs by Debbie Salter Goodwin. I remember buying several books and remember reading this one last, but as I began to read, I knew this one had been the best choice! One chapter that really helped me as a mother of Isabella was a chapter called "Something to Grieve". Grief is what someone feels when they have lost something. There is a poem called: Welcome to Holland by Emily Perl Kingsley where she makes a beautiful analogy that perfectly explains what it meas to raise a child with special needs. Basically the poem explains how all mothers who give birth to healthy children go to Italy, and those who give birth to a child with disability go to Holland, and in the end although every mother wanted to go to Italy, those who ended up in Holland end up enjoying their trip to Holland as much as they would have enjoyed Italy but in a different way. I like this part of the poem that says: "But e...

Yesterday I had really good night sleep.  I guess having a good night sleep really determines what kind of day I'm going to have the next day.  So today has been a nice, stressless day.  I went to the store and bought the food for the week, then bought some other stuff like bread and fruits.  Then I took Roger with me to pick up Mari at school.  Then we had lunch (Mari and me).  Then I changed Mari from her school uniform, put her on her ARGOs, and I went to drop her off at PT at the Hospital.  Then we came back home (Roger and I).  I gave Roger his milk, then I put him on his crib to fall asleep on his own.  Then I went to pick up Marce.  Marce did her homework.  Then we went to pick up Mari at the Hospital.  Now they are both having a snack and then we are going to do Mari's Homework.