Roger Jose "My Story"

Roger came to no surprise to our lives. I always new I wanted to have another baby, I just didn't know when. On October 2007 we found out I was pregnant. We were a little worried about having another baby because of the spina bifida. Non of my children have been surprises, the three of them have been so wanted and planned...but Roger was so meticulously planned due to our experience with Maria Isabella. I had prepared myself for many years taking 5mg daily doses of folic acid, and we had had a doctor's check up appointment before getting pregnant to make sure everything was ok with me.

Most people reacted happy and optimist but some people thought we were such risk takers. I didn't care what people thought though.

I didn't care whether the baby was going to be a girl or a boy, all I asked for was to have a healthy baby. At 13 weeks gestational age we had an ultrasound done which ruled out down syndrome, spina bifida and other disorders. This was right before Christmas. My mom said it was our Christmas gift from God.

Then, at 16 weeks gestational age we had another ultrasound done and learned that everything was still fine with the baby and we also had the chance to find out the sex of the baby. I was son anxious during this ultrasound and after the doctor scanned alll the baby parts and said that everything was fine, he focused on the sex of our baby and made me guess the sex. I could not denied it, it was a boy...and so I said: "a boy"? and everybody laughed! my husband Roger was so happy...I was happy too, but I was more excited about the baby being healthy rather than of the sex of the baby.

I remember I wanted to tell the whole world! I called several people to announce it was going to be a boy!

My pregnancy went fine, although I once did get ill from a stomach infection and had really high fevers. I had to take some medicines which I was really afraid to take. At the end I ended up taking them because the benefits outweighed the risks plus I was already past the three months of pregnancy which were the most risky ones.

I remember feeling more tired during this pregnancy. It's obvious I already had two kids to take care of, but I felt this baby heavier and the weather was so much hotter this year. It was really hard, I wanted the pregnancy to be over soon. We planned a C-section with OB-GYN Walter Mendieta for June 26, 2008. And that date was when our baby Roger Jose was born. He was big and weighed 8 lb 4 oz! No wonder I felt so much weight on me.

It was a happy moment on our lives. People say that if someone looses a son or daughter no other son or daughter could possibly replace the lost one. I think this is true, Roger Jose was such a blessing to me, and brought so much happiness, but the feeling of loss I felt of not having a happy pregnancy and healthy baby when Mari was born is still there. And to be honest with myself and to those who read this story I am still in the process of grieving that loss.